Lord of the Rings

Being out and about I have noticed many people are confused about how to wear rings. Therefore I have taken it upon myself to declare the rules for ring wearing. The rules are as follows: One ring, the exception being if you are married and have won some type of championship (just remember high school championship rings are reserved for high school and no time there after). However if you have won multiple championships you can wear all of your rings only if you are being photographed by ESPN or SI. Moving right along, rings are never to be worn outside of the ring fingers, hence the name rings and not "thumbs," "pointers" or "tall mans." Also pinky rings are reserved as props for mafia movies not for wannabe gangsters who think they are the next Don Carlion. The only people that wear more than 2 rings are gypsies and pimps. Neither of which are the upper crust of society (no offense to my homies ICE-T and Don Magic Juan).

P.S. Toe rings, should never be worn period, male or female, period.