10 Things I Hate About byU: Part 1.5

6. I hate you sandals man! Dont get me wrong, being a Southern
California native I have a soft spot in my heart for flip flops which
are the only legitimate form of sandals. However like everything
there is a time and a place for sandals. they are not to be worn when
the temp drops below 75 and should never be worn to lift weights
especially at the Golds Gym on 9th East. If you would like to wear
sandals and board shorts go to the beach, don't try to be a cool
"surfer dude" when the nearest body of water is the botany pond on 8th
north! Come on! i hope you freeze your toes and drop weights on them!
airwalk/dr marten sandals must go! please retire them! they are not
cool! In the middle East they have weapons exchanges where you
exchange your guns for money, food, etc... well we should start a
program where one can bring in their dr. marten/airwalk sandals and
exchange them in return for an ounce of coolness.
7. I understand that when you are cool the sun never sets, then why
are so many people still wearing sunglasses on campus in the middle of
winter? I am amazed! Now i do understand that the Matrix movies have
gained world-wide fame, NEO is the only ONE allowed to wear
sunglasses 24/7! What has the world come to if we are representing
Keanu Reeves in our own everyday attire? There is no need for this!
sunglasses are not designed to be used when there is an obvious lack
of sun outside and If there is any question as to what is an obvious
amount of sun, dont wear them, it is better to error on the side a
good fashion sense. I dont care if you can do a killer ray Charles or
Stevie wonder impression leave the sunglasses at home! do it, trust
me, it can only help your image! If you wear sunglasses you will fail
in life, Just look at Jose Conseco!
8. I cant stand Nerd Weddings! Why is it that whenever i go over to
someones apartment there is always a Nerd Invitation stuck on the
fridge! Why is it that when ever i am annoyed by someone or am amazed
that an individual is a an 11 nerd scale (10 being Screech Powers,
Steve Erkel) that I look at their hand only to see a wedding ring? Why
is that? Perhaps Nerd weddings are an anomaly, like where is noah's
ark, big foot, Tupac's death or why the toilet water spins opposite
below the equator, all unanswered yet so amazing. Any university
knows they have a problem when the physics department has the highest
marriage rate on campus, and this is a campus with a MFHD degree, come
on. Perhaps a bulletin has gone out on the nerd underground railroad,
and they are now flocking to BYU with the promise of marriage, How
does this happen what is our world coming to? Is this a result of our
nerd reparations, for so long they were ostracized and mocked that now
they are owed a wife and envied by normal people on campus? i am at a
loss for words.