Tuesday, January 29, 2008

All Star Team!

Tonight Valeri is putting together her Murder She Wrote Puzzle that she got for Christmas (thanks Connie). As watch watch her meticulously sort the pieces in different bowls according to color, I realize my wife would be the star of the old folks home! She can crank out puzzles like none other and her favorite shows are Murder She Wrote and Matlock, all she is missing is Perry Mason to complete the trifecta. So as I sit here watching my wife put together her puzzle while watching Murder She Wrote on TV I wounder how long until she wants to start eating at Sizzler every night, collecting cats, and start knitting in her spare time.

The Big 25

So this past Sunday was my birthday, normally I would say that Sunday birthdays stink but such was not the case on January 27th, 2008. You see I was able to do things that normally I would get in trouble for, such as taking 3 naps in one day and watching all of the random shows I recorded on the DVR. How lucky am I to have such a great wife that will baby me on my birthday and buy me such a rad non-cake cake, made of sugar cookies.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Hot Dogs 101

After weeks of stewing and trips to Costco I have finalized the Rules of Hot Dogs.
Hot Dogs are ONLY to be eaten in the following places.
1.Sporting events: It is sac-religious to not eat a Dodger Dog at Dodger Stadium with all the fixings, Get my drift!
2.Camping: Roast up some dogs around the campfire on sticks, bent coat hangers or whatever. Random beef and pig parts never tasted so good.
3.Costco: Nothing like a 1/4lb polish sausage to bring a trip to the great superstore to a climax and nothing will keep your wife away like 1/4lb polish sausage burps.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Get Your Mac On.....

Yeppers folks, that's right, tomorrow is going to be a great day and that is because it is Macworld 2008. A wonderful celebration Mac nerds look forward to every year. Last year the iphone was introduced and after several hours of reading potential spoilers it seems as though good old Mr Jobs is going to be releasing a new ultra thin laptop with an all flash memory hard drive(freaking sweet). I don't know if I will be able to sleep tonight because I know tomorrow morning I will be getting my Mac on!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

49 degrees?

It was 49 degrees that day in the official Armpit of America aka Baker, California.


Oh restless leg syndrome, yeah that's right I didn't capitalize it because its a made up syndrome and if it was real it would be called by its real name, Jimmy Legs. But lets not get caught up in the details, there is a medicine called Equip to help with the Jimmy Legs but curing the ailment is not its greatest power. The side effects are far more bizarre than the disease. The commercial shows someone sitting at at table with fresh flowers in vase on it, sipping a hot cup of Joe. Then out of nowhere come the side effects...If you have increased sexual , gambling or other urges please contact your physician. And that's when it hit me, I knew my diet coke tasted a bit different the last time I was in Las Vegas, and it explains why it took Valeri 30 mins to pull me off the Slot Machine at the Chevron we bought gas at. So watch out the next time you're at Circus Circus for some creepy dude in a suit with slicked back hair slipping pills into you drinks. Consider yourself warned!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Christmastime in The LBC

While home for Christmas we went with my family to a friends house in Long Beach and had a very nice dinner. Then we went to the Naples area, you see there is some hood in the LBC but then there is some prime real estate also! There is a section of Long Beach that has canals running throughout it, think so-cal meets Venice. Every year the residents of Naples decorate their house and thousands of people walk up and down the canals admiring their work. The decorations were amazing and so were the many yachts and motor boats we saw, but they could not hold a candle to the houses.

Normally I am not a fan of Christmas light but come on, the Santa lights could make even the Grinchiest Grinch's heart grow!
So what do you do? You take a picture picking Santa's nose of course!
A sweet fountain we stumbled upon. Notice the sandals, partly because its a Southern California Christmas and partly because I forgot the suitcase with all of our shoes and hygiene items in Utah. All Val had to wear was a pair of knee high Ugg boots so a trip to the store yielded two pairs of sandals and a weeks worth of tormenting from Valeri and my family.

Friday, January 4, 2008

A Little Plate of Heaven

The one and only Carrol C

When in Los Angeles do as the Angelenos do! Thats right folks its tradition, next time you're in LA mosey on down to Roscoe's Fried Chicken and Waffles its amazing. Order a #13 the Carrol C Special its 1 waffle and a chicken breast and its the best meal you will ever eat. Make sure you eat your fried chicken with some Red Rooster hot sauce. Oh yeah make sure to order a side of mac&cheese, its divine and truly one of those foods that is so good you want to rub it all over your body. While we were there I swear we saw Suge Night the founder of Death Row Records and a Famous Blood, plus there was a brand new Ferrari parked right outside. The restraunt is a dive but draws in all kinds of people from every walk of life and its amazing. Its what I miss most about LA even more than In&Out. It just goes to show you the truth of the age old saying, "You can take the boy out of the hood but you cant take the hood out of the home boy."

a devoured Carrol C
A Shout out to Roscoe's number one fan and a true OG, My grandma Zola Hawley!

Rob & Big & The Two Hawley Stalkers

Rob & Big live in the Hollywood Hills up 7 different narrow roads and one day Hillary and Claire set out on a trip to find their house. Several days later they found their mark and while we were home for Christmas the showed me and Valeri their find.That's right folks feast your eyes on Mini Horse's trailer, with the 80's fantasy paint job. Truly amazing, yet Valeri was not sold on getting one of Me, Her and Penny on the hood of our Subaru.
Check it out, its the Murdered Out Tahoe aka the UAV. I was amazed my sisters found the place and even more amazed they were able to recall their find to show me and Valeri. They should be bounty hunters or private eyes!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Lights out Hawley

Word on the street is that I have a snoring problem. It's hard to admit such a flaw in my perfect existence. As it turns out I have been coerced to admit my problem. You see the other night I went to sleep extremely tired as I had worked that morning, and after falling peacefully to sleep I began snoring (I personally can't verify this so it all remains heresay) and Valeri came up with her own remedy. Her remedy being smacking me in the face. Apparently this is the new craze; I actually saw a commercial and it said, "warning: treatments for snoring may include bloody noses, black eyes, excessive yelling and ice water being thrown on you in the shower." I never snored before I was married or perhaps it was that I didn't have someone to harass while I was sleeping. So I am refusing to wear breathe right strips because I am not an NFL linebacker and, besides, I enjoy sleeping in a catchers mask much more.