Thursday, November 20, 2008

I love hot cheetos....

So I came across this article on NPR and it reminded me of nasty things I ate in my youth that I thought were delicious. Here is a list in no particular order, feel free to add to this list.1. Hot Cheetos: If there ever was a disgusting snack that was consumed by kiddies from kindergarten to high school by the bagload, it would be Hot Cheetos. I swear I ate them one time and my fingers were stained red for a week. Thanks to the Hoover High Student Store for stocking these little red spicy sticks, that look like devil terds and taste about the same.2. Limon 7 Powder: I thought this stuff was amazing. It is basically lemon flavored salt. I don't know why I ate this stuff; it sucked and was sour and salty and tasted like a gym locker. There is nothing more refreshing on a warm day than lemon salt........Not!
3. Lucas Chili Powder & Paste: The powder was like eating lines of seasoning salt mixed with chili powder and crack. That's how addicting this stuff was. Now for the paste, think of the previous mixed with Jello. They came in these little containers and you could keep them in your pocket and eat when the teacher was not looking. Talk about being parched. I hate that stupid wannabe Dark Wing Duck mascot. This stuff looked like a steak rub mixed with Gorilla Glue.
4. Anything sold by the Ice Cream Man: I would have bought air in a bag from the Ice Cream Man, he was that amazing. I think the music had a hypnotic effect on me. Pink panther and ninja turtle bars were my favorite, and let me tell you I am not sure they were even ice cream, and the gum ball eyes were nasty! Oh I loved the ice cream man, that is until he backed over my friends little sister's bike.....on purpose! I will find you Ice Cream Man!!!!
5. Big Sticks: I don't know why I ate these? Maybe because they sold them at my elementary school for 25cents, other than that the were a sub-par Popsicle if I have ever seen one! Down with the Big Stick!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

This week...

This coming Saturday the Cougs of BYU take on the Utes of Utah. While thinking about the upcoming game I remembered a little white cassette I had back in 1990 thanks to my uncle Stuart, the Tysman rap! That's right folks, check out this little gem. Tysman Rap

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Los Deportes...

I was at the gym tonight (I know hard to believe) when I had several revelations. They are as follows.
1. I need to get some sluttier gym outfits or shirts that don't have sleeves, but I am in a bind as I lost my membership to the cool guy club and stopped frosting my hair about 10 years ago and I need to take more time to prepare for the gym, maybe put on some mascara or some waterproof eyeliner, I hear it makes you workout harder.
2. Soccer players are wimps, I glanced up to see a guy get slide tackled and then lay on the ground for several minutes holding his ankle, the rest of team all reacted like there was a shooting on the field, come on get up and walk it off, you pansy.
3. I hate the people in charge of programing on ESPN, come on was there a less desirable game to watch then VA Tech and Maryland, come on who cares, what are the implications, 4 place in the ACC, Oh wait there was a lamer game on and it was in the basketball department BYU vs. Concordia University, who cares. My questions is, why was the UTAH vs TCU game not on, but then again why would you show a game that has potential BCS buster written all over it? oh and to the Mountain you SUCK!.
4. One last thought, why was Pete Carrol not elected president? He's got my vote!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Benefits of a Winter Beard....

2 weeks deep into the winter beard...

1. You always get to ride the lift alone, because everyone thinks you are a pervert or will stink like urine.
2. People randomly give you change in parking lots and gas stations because you look homeless.
3. Insulation and never getting wind chapped.
4. No one other than your wife will kiss you so loyalty is not an issue.
5. You get death threats from your family because Christmas is family picture time.
6. You can pee your pants and no one will say anything.
7. You always have a place to store food for later.
8. No one will ask you for directions because you look crazy.
9. Extra 10 mins a day from not shaving.
10. You look like a young Santa Claus.
11. You hear endless references to Teen Wolf, Castaway and Bob Ross.
12. Talking to yourself is socially acceptable.
13. Your wife always has an excuse to get mad at you.